Greetings from the 2 Grandmothers

This is something so memorable and I can never forget any details of it in my life. It meant a lot to me as one of their grandchildren.

I grown up in a very chinese traditional family thus I am always practicing chinese culture and tradition in life. and I'm proud of it! hehe


>>I shall start off with the mother's mother aka PorPor.

During my last trip to Ipoh, she gave me a BIG PRESENT! ho ho ho~~ Just when daddy announced that it's time to leave, popo suddenly pulled my hand and said "come come". (and before that, mummy asked me to place something secretly in her room) So my first reaction was staring at my mother. but well she is going to raise her voice calling my name if I still don't follow her footstep and enter her room with her. Owh she was so cute, the reason I got panicked was because she called me secretly, as if hoping none of my other family member will know about it. So imagine how nervous was I. PorPor is well known with her 'unique' attitude so I was so scared I did something wrong that she wants to lecture me personally!! OMG..

Then when I was with her in her room, (without any other people), she started to dig her treasures. LOL I didn't know she hides her things in that corner! hahahaha *I feel so honoured*

She pulled up a stack of papers then *TADAA* a BIG ANGPAU appeared. I just can't put those feelings in words because other than Chinese New Year she had not given us extra angpau. Or maybe once or twice on my birthday. I was happily staring at the angpau and she started to pull me down towards her (fyi, she uses wheelchair), and asked me to read the greetings she wrote on the angpau. "来，读给婆婆听。"

The angpau from PorPor.

I first skipped the address to me and my name, and she yelled. "EHH, 前面那些不用读啊?" (why didn't you read those in front?!" OWH SWTTT of course I don't expect myself to be reading my own name! It's like, "To, myself" lol. But the queen ordered, so yeah have to read again. haha

"孙女 林缘双 祝你学业上进 愿望成就 婆婆"

awwww so touched!! I almost drop into tears at that moment. When I fully(haha she kept holding it) received the angpau from her, I remember saying "wahh, 很厚 lehh" LOL it feels wonderful, really. I wasn't expecting such touching greetings at all from my old grandmother!

Halfway through the reading session, I was too happy so I spoke too loud and mummy was standing at the door staring already. popo was worried that mummy will stop me from accepting the angpau so she kept saying "shhh 这样大声做什么？" aiyor PorPor I can't control one mahhh.. but mummy asked me to accept it anyway. Then of course it's picture time with PorPor and angpau!


The lovely PorPor and I!!

Smile More!!

Before I REALLY leave the house, she said again "乖乖读书ahh.. 不要只顾着 paktor 知道吗!!" *OOPS* hahaha

.........................................

>>Then, its the father's mother aka Ah Ma.

Today, my family and I paid a visit to dad's eldest brother's house, Ah Ma was there too. I was happily watching television sitting beside Ah Ma, and she walked away. When she came back, *TADAA* she gave me an angpau! hehe but it wasn't that unexpected compared to the one from PorPor because every year, as long as we were ranked 1st to 3rd in our class or we scored well in major exams, she'll give us an angpau. This applies to each cousin! keke.

Angpau from Ah Ma

This time, no greetings written on the angpau but she greeted me verbally. No difference, I still get the blessings! Owh sorry Ah Ma you were too fast I can't remember every single word you said. But I still have a rough idea.

"阿嫲祝你出国读书 事事顺利、万事如意！"

Forgotten to take a picture together with Ah Ma and the angpau, but it's ok. I took loads with her in my last trip to Pangkor before I fly to Perth.

Ah Ma and I in front of our beloved Pangkor House~

Thank you again for all the wishes from both of you.

Stay healthy and live long forever.

I LOVE YOU!

Badminton IdolS

Ever since the lovely sister came back from her India competition trip, she had been craving lots of different kind of Malaysian food. And thanks to my great mind on suggesting where to eat for our lunch today, I got myself a big surprise other than the delicious lunch!


I met,

THEM!!!

weee~~ hahaha

I first saw Tan Boon Heong with a half blue half red football team shirt. (is that Barcelona's shirt?? I seriously not sure) My mouth was half hanging and the noodles were flying in the air infront of my face. I don't know why I got so excited when I saw them!! haha happy happy. Then at that time, I was already hitting my sister so hard and kept saying "eh ting..TING..OMG TING LOOK!! Tan Boon Heong lerr!!" just when my sister confirmed that its him, I started searching for Koo Kien Kiat this time.

Then...I spot him!! *screams screams* hahaha A light purple shirt with the word "GAP" together with a white cap. This time, it was even worse. I stared at him, as if there are golden bars dropping down to earth from the sky. My eyes went 0.0 and LOCKED on him, continuously for 20 minutes!! (they were standing waiting for seats) and I lost my appetite to continue the food cus my mind is not on my food anymore..haha(okla the food wasn't what I wanted anyway)

I guess I wasn't given a chance to stare at a guy ever since my breakup, that I stared at him so badly!! and I know I scared him off because, I kept smiling and my expression was SO EXCITED and I made him feel like "oh yeshh, the little girl here IS staring at you" =p OMGOMG *aaahhhh!!!!* hahahaha why laa what happen to me? Ok I don't know but this was the first time I see them from such short distance! I met them a few times during their matches around KL stadiums but the distance was too far. So yep..both of them are so strong and charming~! wakaka

Blah.. I have never been so crazy at looking at idols. Worse still, Lee Chong Wei had always been my top favourite among all Malaysian players. hmm... so what makes me think that Koo Kien Kiat is sooo yeeng today?! I looked around, and everyone was busy with their food. Am I the only one to spot them? The badminton stars of our country? Nevermind.. better! Then everyone will face their head down on the food, and I get to continue looking at him clearly. kekeke

Malaysian players are losing a lot in the badminton field this 2 years. Bad comments are hitting on them so often nowadays but I hope that wouldn't stop their fighting spirit. Keep it up people, no matter what happen, I will forever support all Malaysian players!

Malaysia Boleh!!

Imperfect Life

Life is never perfect, I know. But today, is just not my day.

Case 1) Started working early in the morning after dropping sister in school and went stamping office via the new road. (Overhead bridge which connects Subang to Federal Highway without jamsss). This was a good path, I'm so tired of LDP already. Today, after coming down from the bridge, felt disappointed because that short distance from overhead bridge to stamping office in Federal Highway was never jam. Fine, traffic jam. Urghhh

Just when I am reaching stamping office, there I see again a white-uniform-human-with-black-pants together with their look-so-cool motorbike was standing beside the road, inspecting a car. I was thinking already, early in the morning when everyone is stucked in the jam, what the hell are you doing? Why aren't you controlling the traffic? Unless you prove us that the guy was a murderer or something. Can't you do that at other period of time? Malaysians are meant to be keh-poh enough already. Whoever/Whatever that stops beside the road will definitely attract attention of all Malaysians and therefore slowing down their vehicles and not paying attention in front. Worse still, its the white-uniformed human standing there, with their usual greedy and useless pose and look. Of course everyone will look at him! Thinking: *oh no..which unlucky fella early in the morning.*

Ok here goes the main point. haha

Right after everyone pass them, there goes the emergency break from the cars in front. So do I, and I managed to stop. With the usual phobia, my first reaction was to look into mirror, looking at the distance then the speed of the car behind. I knew, that with the Proton Waja's initial velocity, I am left with small chance that it can stop before my car. I tried to move forward as much as I can but it was the maximum already.

(Don't get me wrong, I will NEVER miss Physics)

In my heart: "wan dan liao.. Oh my Little O' Saga..please please pleaseeeeee"

1..

2..

3..

BOOOMMMMMMMMM

My heart: *cries* MY CARRRR... "just hope that it will not be thatt bad, please please"

Okay, she looks kind, nervous as usual. My car only need some polish and I trust her that she will not just run away. Okay I do have some vested interest because I saw her car with IMU sticker and I believe on healthcare student. Very Bad!! I know. (sorry sorry no offence to other friends.)Blah, it was just first impression. I see me in her, because I understand how it feels to knock on other people's car. The financial pressure, and also blaming myself for being careless.

(Again, don't get me wrong, I'll NEVER miss Thinking Skills)

SCRATCHES-ES-ES-ES

After I hopped up my car, I know I am not in fault but the feeling of being caught in the accident this time, is just different. I cried, once more. Seriously, why did I cry?! Ish such a childish naive little girl I am. I still have my lovely parents isn't it? Stupid.


Case 2) After i reach stamping office, when I took my lovely Nokia N81 out from the pocket.
*mouth open, slightly heart attact, & SHIT!* My phone cracked! As in, some black shell cracked and drop off, leaving the phone looking SO NAKED AND CACAT. That was so so ugly!!

This phone meant a lot to me, and I have no intentions on changing a new phone for the time being. Plus, I don't expect my parents to buy me a new one anytime soon. So, NO. I told myself, I must find that lost piece and I will glue it back or do something to it when I am home later.


I threw out everything in the handbag, searched the car up and down.

No where to be seen.

Just when my mind was wondering thinking of all sorts of negative things again, I found it. right on my driver seat! I was sitting on it. HAHA HEHE smiles!



And so, the phone must be added with protective layer from now onwards. The phone designers designed it this way, I always feel bad to give them the extra layer. But I don't have a choice now, too bad my beautiful and elegant phone.

Cover 1: The beautiful phone is totally covered! How can...

So, I tried the second one..

Cover 2: At least still looks normal, but didn't cover that drop off part at all.

Can it really help?

Case 3) After all the despatch and stamping works, I went back to daddy's office as usual to continue my work.
and I almost TRIPPED THREE TIMES by accidentally kicking the files on the floor.


Ish. I know if I can just be more careful in my life, I will be so much more happier.


Luckily, no case 4. Today is just not my day. I felt that my car lost its virginity. haha because first time other people knock on my car. Then, I am really worried that the beautiful phone will never be perfect anymore, I really cannot stand it if it is broken again this way.


Quote: "bad things do happen when ur at the lowest point"
Yeah, you are right.

Change

Still, it really happenned. Everything seems to be okay at first but what was the problem?

CHANGE

From both person, both side, both parties.

Miracly, I talked to my mother about it. ("Shuang hahh WHAT?!") haha yes I know everyone will give me this reaction. She forced me to tell what happenned and my face emotion definitely can't cover up anything anymore. For the first time, I felt that mummy understands the situation. She did not side anyone and gave me advices as someone who came through it before.
Because of her, I am emotionally more stable after that. Actually until now I still don't understand how can my mood change so fast after talking to her. What did mummy said that made me feel alive again? lol don't know. I don't see her keyword. Maybe every word was the keyword.


The so called new life is not good yet and not improving yet either. But I know, I must do it. Well, I am not that great, I know my emotion wouldn't be that smooth without him making extra efforts. But still, I must stop relying on any other people and be more independent. In the first place, this is what I wanted isn't it? GRR I KNOW HOW TO TALK ONLY.


Anyhow, I have found the key on how to accept what had happenned and to stay healthy for myself, it might not be a good idea but at least that makes me feel better. It's ok. I am satisfied already. I'm still confused with the feeling I have now. Hope to make it clear as soon as I can, without anymore regrets.



Still alive for everyone who love and care for me, I will rearrange the positions and put myself in top priority, loving myself the most from now onwards.

Hi, Little Penguin

It took me 4 or 5 years, it is too long that I couldn't remember which year I started it anymore. I did a few pieces before this but never in the history used such a long time.
(Actually, I DO have another one which is not completed and I started that before this piece. So you can imagine how long that piece had been abandoned. ish I am so good in procrastinating in EVERYTHING.)

The Little Penguin!

4 yearssss

And so, right after I finish with that little penguin, I immediately digged a new one and get started with it. You know la.. right after that urge is gone then I don't know when am I starting it again. Why?

BECAUSE..

This new one is..

HUUUUGE!!!!!

71 colours!!

The maximum I did before this was 20 colous only.. haha big big challenge!

When mummy saw the guidebook, she thought I can just choose any page out of the 8 pages and stitch one of it. In fact, NO. Those 8 pages are to be matched in order to produce this whole piece of beautiful thing.

Mummy: HARR?! OMG.. Why do you want to get yourself into such trouble? *faint*

Me: *hahaha* It's ok. This will be so challenging! Mummy, I target to finish it before I step out of this house to go perth. I definitely MUST do it.

Mummy: okok. *happy smile*

There I go, smile..and continue smiling...still smiling.. because in my mind I keep dreaming, oh how nice will it be. I have done such great project and everyone in the house will be looking at it everyday. Yesh I can do it I can definitely complete before I go perth.

BUT....

Look.

THIS, is my efficiency after 1 month! not even 1/20 of the whole piece!!

*cries cries HUHUHU*

Stupid Lim Yuanshuang, why are you so good in procrastinating. Why can't I have more determination in doing things?! argh.


I have to continue it. must must. I want this thing to be hanging on my house wall when I am in Perth! Obviously because I want everyone to miss me everyday!! hehe.

It was supposed to be a present for Daniel.

Promised him few years ago and it had always been in my mind.

Who ask me to complete so late?

Owh ya, I am not posting up the picture of how the big cross stitch is supposed to look like because I only want to show it when it's done! teehee. We shall see when will I blog about the complete one.

Everyone, JUST WAIT FOR ME!!

PROMISE

I PROMISE ... that I will update my blog.

One day, soon. SOON. I want to blog about sooo many things but the thought of uploading pictures is going to take a century that makes me feel like "ahh.. other day laaa"

So yes, I'm not abandoning my lovely blog but I am really DESPERATE to change the blog address. (whatever it is called). anti-cheessse seems to be childish and weird..
Any suggestions my friends?


Oh bloggie, I MISS YOU!

Tortoise and I

I love tortoise, SO MUCH that I don't even know why I love them so much. LOL

See~! They are so energetic. Not as slow motion as everybody thinks!


They are just so attractive to me. The only animal with a hard shell on it and known to be the animal which can long live forever. I really hope one of my tortoise can at least last till my grandchildren are born. Oh oh.. and the best thing is the shell is so useful to them. Whenever they need their "private" time or do not want to be interfered, JUST HIDE!

Sheeshhh I'm jealous. I want a removable shell too...

They.are.just.so.adorable.

Compared to the common pets, ~DOGS~ and ~CATS~ !! grr. I just don't like dogs. You might come out with millions of reasons why dogs are more preferable but none of them will make me change my mind of how much I hate them. Oh yes I HATE DOGS. They may be cute, loving and even friendly to most of the people but if a dog ever TOUCH me.. hoh hoh hoh.. I'm no longer Lim Yuanshuang for that moment and the dog can never be seen anywhere nearby. It will just go *pooofff* and *disappear*.
(so it is either I run away with light speed or I hit the dog away to another planet. If it happens to be a lucky day then maybe a scream which can cause earthquake is good enough)



Back to the cutie tortoise. keke



It all started during Form3 (I think) when darling first didn't reply my sms because of something related to a tortoise. Then in the following year, mummy bought 2 tortoises as a reward for brother and sister with their results. I still remember that it was some sort of Love-in-First-Sight. haha My family used to have fishes in pond..but this time it just feels so different! Hence I gave them names. HaoHao for the male and YuanYuan for the female. And their birthday will be the day we bought them. 10/10/2006






So, where are they now?


HaoHao is somewhere in the world ( I hope) because one day my maid woke me up telling me HaoHao is lost. Which I suspect the ~CAT~. ish murderer/kidnapper.
YuanYuan had rebirth LOL (I hope so too). I DIDN'T KILL HER. I swear I treat her exactly how I treated HaoHao but I suspect she was infected with some disease or she just can't live with tap water.


Since both of them left me.. I got myself replacementSSS. I have "LOST" at least 5-6 female tortoises and therefore I told myself STOP BUYING FEMALE TORTOISES.
No choice. I wanted them to reproduce... so muchhh haha



Now, I still have 2 tortoises surviving in my house. XingXing and 2 (unnamed) which I just call it "the small ones". I feel so sorry to neglect them so much.




So, till what extent do I love tortoise?



PROVES...

When mummy bake, I used the left over dough to make a tortoise.

My trademark!

My souvenior from Pulau Redang with lovely PM1s.

Then, just after I paid for the bookmark before this picture, I CAUGHT THESE outside the shop!!!

The tortoise which accompanies me to enter my dream every night.

From the lovely darling! <3

Another tortoise souvenior. From Kota Kinabalu, from darling too :)

The smallest tortoise in my collection.

Even when I go for praying, TORTOISE BLESS ME!!! hahahahaha

(It is in the tradition already. So I didn't request it ok) =p

Maybe I am too mad with tortoise, that I met human-tortoise in my life too!

My tortoise in PM1, and I am The Tortoise Lord. heheh

And sometimes, I even call him TORTOISE.

Darling can be my tortoise too! haha

When the fake one meets the real one, how would it be?

...
...

I, am the tortoise lord!

Short Forms

First of all, I am getting more and more excited to fly to Perth. WHY? Because I get to fly with Malaysia Airline, NOT AirAsia! haha not just the food. Everything is better than AirAsia this time.

It is CHEAPER. cheaper! can you imagine. I don't need to beg my father to hop into MAS this time. keke
FREE FLOW OF FOOD AND DRINKS!!! Haha this is the best. Unlimited food supply. There is always nothing to do in the airplane, so food and drinks are my best friends.
Free buggage limit for 20kg, plus my student card will make it 30kg. hehe
And, I get to step into KLIA. At last!! It has been years!!

AND AND, I want to get my free toyy... Wonder whether if I can still get. haha.. I used to get free toy while flying to overseas as a kid last time. So nice toys! Please give me...


Next is what I think might be the main point of the post.
Lim Yuanshuang, Lim Yuanting, Lim Haoshen & Lim Yuanbei makes up the most brilliant combination. (Of course la.. lead by Lim Yuanshuang mah..)

Beibei first asked me a question in Subang Terminal 3 today.
Da jie, I finally figured out what does CIMB stands for.

..........................

In car:
Me: Bei, tell mummy what does CIMB stands for.
Bei: Oh mummy. I tell you ahh, CIMB means Come In My Bank.

HAHAHAHA

There goes our whole journey in car started discovering what does the name of every bank meant.

CIMB Bank
Come In My Bank

AmBank
All Men Bankrupt

EON Bank
Everyone Owns Nothing
(because EON Bank is owned by government..)

Hong Leong Bank (HLB)
He Loves Begging
(Well, maybe only my family will understand this)

Maybank Berhad
Mass Borrow; Broke.

RHB
Rich Man Bribes
(no offence to anybody.. Just a joke!)

HSBC
How Smart Bankers Con


In the end, there are a few that we still didn't manage to think of nice ones. Nevermind, this is already a good start in creating words. haha nice game! LOL

I wonder if anyone knows about the CIMB one. Such a good idea for advertisement. I bet no one will confuse the arrangement of CIMB anymore...

Jing...JING!!

My forever happy-go-lucky best friend is back from Switzerland!!


Woohoo. missed her so much. A friend of mine who is always there when I need someone to play with. =p

The reunion was fun, sweet and loving!

Me, Jing, Wen Yah

Another group of reunion which I reached home at 12 midnight, first time exceeding my curfew and I almost got myself into hell life again.

I miss those moments so much. Meet up more peopiell!

From left: Bestie Lynn Shane, Lovely Jing, You-Know-Who, Lamer Jia Yi, Cheeeenaa Tze Shyuan

I even brought her to watch Cheer 2009!

Go VULCANZ!

(the name of cheerleading team representing SMK Seafield)

Aiyo I really wanna go meet her in Hong Kong!! Why AirAsia no promotion for flights to Hong Kong... sobs

Good luck Jing,

FRIENDS FOREVER!

The First Job

I was desperate for money so that I am eligible to feel desperate to play.

NO MONEY NO LIFE.

Hence, got myself a part-time job. In exact, 2 days job. haha reasonable working time with good $$$.

Promoting products is soo not my thing. Persuading customers and praising products till sky-high hoping that they are going to spend the money and buy it felt so geli before I started working.

Turns out, I was actually feeling proud of myself! haha my sales was.. NOT BAD! :) I literally never let go any customer. Catching them and chant with my logitech products. lol retarded noob girl.

Mind you, there is no commission paid and I am sooo hardworking promoting.

Now I feel stupid haha.

Met a guy with golden fish eye, with at least 4mm long of eyelashes, and name himself Salmon. It was supposed to be Simon, and he said there is too many Simon everywhere so Salmon sounds one-and-only-one to him. I just realised, he is all about fish!! hahaha

He FORCED us to take the picture.

First time meeting a guy who said

"Eh I tell you arr before you leave later, must take picture okay??" =.="

He can pose better than me, better than any girls around me. *swttt*

== Credits to darling who fetch me there and back + the Murni dinner! teehee love ya.

~ Great saticfaction when other people actually trust what you said! Being a promoter isn't that hard after all. Wait till I have the mood one day, I will go work again! keke

HMPH. It has been a month. Where is my pay?!

Macau 2009

I'm back!! yeap yeap after decades haha.

Woohoo~ I'm flying!! Starting with my first trip right after the arrhhh....ommggoosshh and hectic exam, I went straight to Macau with family. IF nothing goes wrong(academic wise), yeah this is my last family trip to overseas before I leave to Ireland this coming august. Of course, I appreciate this last chance before my 'life' starts.


It was supposed to be a happy trip but GUESS WHAT, I got fever right on the 2nd day I reach Macau. Why, why, WHYYY??? I look so dead that my mum said, no matter how sick you are, please pretend to be normal. Or else, the whole family is gonna get kicked out from here because of you. Yes, Thanks to the stupid A H1N1 Flu.

First picture in Macau!

Dinner at 11pm for the first night. Better than expected. teehee

Outside Zhuhai immigration. The shopping heaven!

Here, space matterssss in every shop.



There is a huge difference in how Malaysians and Chinese sell shoes. LOL

HANGING shoes is definitely not Malaysian style.

I am a bad photographer..bad bad. Couldn't snap the best scene for this 'ultra-special' man.


He is not sorting out rubbish, not opening a present and definitely not-doing-nothing.

He is MAKING A CUP OF CHINESE TEA, with the help of RUBBISH BIN.

Can you actually pour all the tea leaves ON the rubbish bin, and then PUT IT BACK IN again?!?!

My only 'product' from Macau. A luggage bag for overseas study use.

Amazed at myself. I'm always a shopaholic when I travel. Only one bag this time??

This, I would say, the biggest joke I had in Macau.

Siraig hair!! LOL!!

So, how was that supposed to be?

"Si-rek" hair?? "Si Raik" hair?? OR "SHREK"('s) hair???

HAHAHA I couldn't hold myself but burst out into laughter right in front of the shop. While the guy thought I was doubting their professionality, they didn't realise I was laughing at that.

But now, I really felt so bad. I shouldn't do this to them. Laughing right in front of the shop not explaining, and laughing like a mad cow until my sister needs to scold me and I still didn't stop. I even invite my whole family to come look at it. lol

SORRY, deep down from my heart.

Mummy designed this family-shirt thingy which is unique and awesome.

With the label, *Gh Lim Happy Family* hehe..

This, is the bestest thing in the world.

Specially for 4 of us, with our name behind!!

My lovely cute,cute and CUTE brother and sisters.

Macau scenery.

Love you loads paapaa and mummy!!

Here comes another superwoman wanna-be...

Tingting, Shenshen, Beibei and Ah Maa.

Thats all for Macau Trip. Buhbye~!

Is this the maximum it can go?

I have worked so hard to build up my confidence day by day.

I would say, this is the year where I faced the most thing, and that I have to overcome it with all my determination, patience, brave-ness. Whenever I am down, my family and friends are the first to be there for me and tell me I am not stupid or useless. I guess I can prove to them that what they say are wrong.
Maybe, I really did not work hard enough to kill Mr. Stupid? But why? Why is it when I already put effort to avoid things that I don't want to happen I just can't do it?

Yesterday was Maths paper, today was worse. I hit a car, AGAIN. This would definitely be the worse accident I've ever met. Although the uncle's car doesn't seem to have serious damage, but my car do. That is not the main point. It's just, why am I so careless??
Stupid! Useless! Hopeless!
I was lucky that I met an uncle who did not want to exploit all my money and he said would give me his bill after his service. I am lucky that he talked to me kindly.
At the end of the discussion, the auntie even asked me to go church for not being a Christian. [swt. funny haha]

I couldn't describe how much I hate myself now, because dying is definitely not a way to solve problem. I really feel like I made everyone around me disappointed. Ahh give me a way to disappear. If not, teach me how to chase Mr. Careless away from my life. Please, I really want to be more careful...

I guess it will be tough to gain trust towards myself after this.
Dear Time, please prove me wrong in the shortest way you can do it. Or not, I don't want risking getting into this career anymore.

Sorry, to everyone who cares for me. I disappoint everyone again.
I am definitely stupid and useless.

Why am I not smart enough?

Today, is a GREAT day.

First time in my life, I broke my record in such way, which is totally not a good thing.

Getting out of the exam hall, walking hopelessly with my still-shaking hands and high rate of heart beat holding my Taylor's 2008 CAL Magazine. At first, like Betsy, I was upset to the point where I was emotionless. Later on, I couldn't control anymore. Dissapointed, is the only word.

Mathematics paper have never been a big worry for me since young. It even made me tell myself, no matter what accountant is going to be my future job.

I love numbers.
I love calculation.
I love maths reasonable critical thinking. The feeling of getting the answer correct after long time of thinking always feel the best.
I love my calculator.
SO WHAT!

Cambridge is the most cruel examination board. Most of us have gotten our conditional offer and they are aware of how much university meant for us. Why must they make it so tough for most of us?

Back to the same old reason, I am not-smart-enough compared to other people. When it comes to critical thinking, I did my best. So what. Just see what is my results for Thinking Skills, ISAT, and now maths. I would say I did my best but it meant nothing when I have no choice but to compare with other people around me. I did work hard for papers I can't do, but there is just no way I can prove it. There it goes, I am not good.

The joys on my daddy and momi's face makes me the happiest girl in the world when I got good results. However, I let them down more than I make them feel proud. Why can't I do better?

This is definitely going to be the worse paper in my life(it better be). It is too late to say anything. This is supposed to be the last maths paper in my life but it didn't end well. I really want to think better. Please, don't let me doubt myself again. It is always hard to build up confidence. I don't want to regret choosing this career.

Please, let me do well, perfom well, live well for my future.

To all my friends: Maths paper is a past. Let's do well on other papers and make miracles!

A Trip to SunMed

Oops.. A trip, might be a wrong choice of word. It wasn't that fun after all. By the way, this is a 'belated' post again. This happened on 4th of March, 2009.

I have been vomiting without reason for past few months. After one week of medicine prescribed by my gastroendologist, my vomit still continued and get even worse. So I have to admit hospital to do an endoscopy. It means putting some tube into my stomach from my throat. Cool thing is, the tube has a camera on it! haha not that amazing I know, but exposing my stomach to me, woo first time!

I think people like me who have not gone through any crucial moments in life like I'm dying soon or something like that, just cannot understand when people say 'Hospital is such a bad place. If you are going to hospital, there is definitely nothing good about it'. Of course, except for people who work in a hospital. So! Even at the moment where doctor said that I have to admit hospital for the scope, I was still smiling happily, chatting with my mother.

Then, when the nurse brought me to the room where all patients who need endoscopy were gathered, my brain suddenly got blanked out. My mouth left open for a few seconds. My hand was pale. I don't understand simple english about what the nurse was talking because my brain was concentrating on those patients. I couldn't feel the heat of my foot inside my shoes. Why? Because all the patients lying there look so weak, tired, helpless. OMG!! What if after I change my cloths into the 'dress', that is going to be how I look? I might be so weak that I will need someone to pour water and feed me with a straw, holding my cup. If I want to sit up straight, I can't do so unless I moved by the remote controlled bed.

hahaha ~dramatic~. This is what happen when you watch too many movies.

Stupid costume. Stupid 'dress'. A simple cloth, why must you be so complicated with the strings around? Why must I tie it this way? Don't you have a simpler way of wearing it?! Can you imagine, the changing room has pictured instructions on how to wear the cloth. And the worse part, even with the instructions, I still took more than ten minutes to figure out how to wear that simple piece of cloth!

I tried!! I tried to look as sad as I can.

My eyes betrayed me. haha

Ah my beloved pillow.

I know I'm going to get admitted, so I brought it along!

The most awaited injection. I have seen my mother's hand in this, my second sister experienced it, even my little brother experienced it! So, at last my turn. Why must I be so excited with this? I knew it was painful, imagine the needle constantly kept in your bloodstream. You move around with a needle inside your body. Argh I am so weird. And I have a story for this! A story that I will never ever forget in my life.
The nurse was supposed to do it for me. At that time, my doctor decided to take a look at me before doing the scope. So while the nurse tear off the plastic wrapping the needle, she came and told the nurse. "Come let me do it. She wants to be a doctor. Let me traumatise her first."
0.0 WHAT? Must I be traumatised before practicing as a doctor?? I was so shocked that I stared at my doctor. But she ignored me and start looking for my vein. -.-" Anyway, it don't hurt that much after all. Maybe my sister was correct, the needle I get is much shorter that the one she got.

The worse part of the day was when the medical officer took my blood for blood test! I have never experienced such torturing and long blood suction in my entire life. Firstly, I know my vein is too small for her to get a large amount of blood in a few seconds time. So, after more than 10 taps on my hand, she decided to give it a try on the clearest vein she can see. After inserting about 1.3cm of the needle into my hand, she started pulling the syringe. As expected, the blood did not flush out like water fall. What she did was, inserting 0.2cm of the needle into my hand and start pulling the syringe again!! And she repeated it about 5 times. I am someone very curious about all this, so my eye did not leave the needle. Looking at part of the needle going in and out of my hand, I was speechless.
Maybe because of this, I can feel that my whole body went very tense and my muscle get stressed up. Blood pressure of that part decreased due to my muscles. [Self theory]



My meal after 18 hours of fasting. Supposed to be 2 pieces of crackers and a cup of milo.
haha I was too hungry. My taste buds were so weak that they cannot even measure the sweetness of milo.
[I assume this. Don't take it seriously. Taste buds dont get tired]

The result of the scope was there is some small amount of internal bleeding in my stomach. Thanks to some bacteria which entered my body without my permission. Name of the bacteria is 'Helicobacter pylori'. Something extra from the doctor is that the guy who discovered this bacteria was awarded in Nobel Prize. haha I shall be the next! [Make it clear, I am dreaming.]

Dear friends, I am feeling much better now. No worries on me anymore! Hee