Change

Still, it really happenned. Everything seems to be okay at first but what was the problem?

CHANGE

From both person, both side, both parties.

Miracly, I talked to my mother about it. ("Shuang hahh WHAT?!") haha yes I know everyone will give me this reaction. She forced me to tell what happenned and my face emotion definitely can't cover up anything anymore. For the first time, I felt that mummy understands the situation. She did not side anyone and gave me advices as someone who came through it before.
Because of her, I am emotionally more stable after that. Actually until now I still don't understand how can my mood change so fast after talking to her. What did mummy said that made me feel alive again? lol don't know. I don't see her keyword. Maybe every word was the keyword.


The so called new life is not good yet and not improving yet either. But I know, I must do it. Well, I am not that great, I know my emotion wouldn't be that smooth without him making extra efforts. But still, I must stop relying on any other people and be more independent. In the first place, this is what I wanted isn't it? GRR I KNOW HOW TO TALK ONLY.


Anyhow, I have found the key on how to accept what had happenned and to stay healthy for myself, it might not be a good idea but at least that makes me feel better. It's ok. I am satisfied already. I'm still confused with the feeling I have now. Hope to make it clear as soon as I can, without anymore regrets.



Still alive for everyone who love and care for me, I will rearrange the positions and put myself in top priority, loving myself the most from now onwards.