I Miss My Family

...and out of sudden, I miss blogging so badly.

As usual, I'm blogging because I'm unhappy, AGAIN.

In exactly 10 days ago I had a big fight with my parents, and maybe also with my siblings. All these while, I've been treated so unfair. I never get things/gadgets I deserve and I want at the correct age. I only get them years later, when my parent's think it is 'appropriate' but I have already been craving for that item/feeling for years. When I see Bei with that so called 'ebook' I just couldn't hold my anger anymore and burst out in tears, then mummy came asking me 'WHY? WHAT'S WRONG? WHY ARE YOU CRYING?'

HEY. I'm not trying to be a kiddo here, jealous at other kids because they get their toy and I don't, what more thats my sister who is 8 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.

It's the anger underneath my feelings, I just didn't understand, if they don't think it is wrong to buy things for my siblings at young age, then what about me? Why, I just NEVER get things I deserve, at that point of time?

They have been so calculative with me with money. Every single cent I spent, I have to report. It's like doing a personal account reporting to the government. I thought well fine, they have been in such way since I was young, so I've lived with it. BUT WHEN TING WENT UK, only for 2 days, and she couldn't stand her accommodation anymore, Dad gave her the 'GO AHEAD. CHANGE YOUR ACCOMMODATION' reply and got so worried if she can't change to another room, how do you expect me to feel?! I've been complaining about my hall for 2 years. I hated my life there. I hated the room. I needed a personal space to walk around. Then when I finally managed to move out 2 years later, what they tell me all the time is how much money I'm spending to move out? I understand that I need to save money, but it is the UNFAIR TREATMENT that I've always been getting!

Now here comes the saddest part of the story. The two little kiddos whom I loved so much, I cared so much, the ones whom I can sacrifice my time to stay at home and spend time with them, turned their back on me too!

10 days later, no one is talking to me. It is as if I did something horrible, when I'm the one who felt so hurt over all these biasness.

I can never finish with all the unfair incidents. But for now,

I MISS MY FAMILY. SO MUCH. YET NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME.

At this point, I know that even if I were to initiate a conversation with my parents anytime now, the first conversation will surely be an arguement, AGAIN, because they're always right and they MUST scold me (even if I was the one hurt) before everything is over.

I wished, my parents are more understanding to me, and know what a girl at my age needs and provide me with those. Some of them don't even need money, just their love, but I know they will only think that I'm expecting too much. So all my "I wish I get that from my parents too" will only go into my dream, and look at how it will be like when my younger siblings get them.
I WISHED, after all that I've done for my 3 siblings, they will be on my side no matter what happens. Because that was what I thought siblings were for, to be there when parents piss you off, and be there when you screw something up and want to hide it from your parents. As the eldest sister, I've done my best to protect them, but I didn't expect this to happen. Will I still love them like how I used to again? The fact that even they didn't bother contacting me after 10 days?

I wished I had a family who will not do this to me. and I'm lucky to have Dan by my side, all the time. <3 nbsp="nbsp">

Farmville is Good!

It's funny how allll my friends give me the -.- face or *shake head* face when we all mentioned about facebook and how I spam their walls with all my farmville posts. HAHA

Guess what, farmville actually helped me in my current part time job yo! I can recognise the vegetables and know which are those I like but I DON'T KNOW THEIR NAMES LAH. With farmville, I feel more familiar with those rare vegetables (to me la) like rhubarb, basil etc. Seriously when I first saw rhubarb in farmville, I was like 'got such thing one meh'. Nevermind, now I know :D


It's ridiculous. How long am I going to take to memorise the name of every single species of eatable plants they sell there and also their codes for each of them?! There is like 4 types of pears and 3 types of apples and 3-4 types of potatoes. but it's OK. They're eatable=food=Yuanshuang love them most! I can do it! ^^

SEE! So cute and so nice! :)

and so fun to play too! JOIN MEEEE!!!

Something Unexpected

I really love my blog. It's a place to talk to myself when I need a listener but don't want to repeat to the same people again. :D

Something unexpected? Totally. I remember how I like to tease my papa about how good am I blending myself in with my friends. Well I THINK I did have quite a number of friends back in primary school and secondary school. I'm not so afraid of putting myself into a new environment anymore because I believe that meeting new friends is totally not a problem to me. and then in A-Levels, I still remember my childish tears when I couldn't get a friend that I can click with in PM1. (Oh how dumb, right Betsy? =p)

So now that I first got into Uni, I met a great bunch of Currie Hall seniors that were so nice to me but somehow I'm just not close to them anymore after 2 weeks. Mainly because I haven't been hanging out with them but mostly with my Meddies and Dent friends. So I thought, hmm shouldn't be a problem for me to have fun here and meet more people.

Here comes the something unexpected. I have friends from Med, Dent, Commerce and even Engineering courses, BUT NOT PODIATRY!!! I've been here for a year and I don't understand this. Did I do anything wrong to my coursemates? zz DON'T UNDERSTAND LARRR!!! I'm feeling the pain more and more because imagine, when I don't turn up for lab or whatever, no one ever tried telling me whats going on, and worse still when they see me again they will never ask the reason I was absent. Maybe feeling this way is a bit of attention seeker but seriously, its ok if you don't care what happened to me, at least tell me what happened in the lab and what should I read up on etc. I'm really feeling like a loner in Podiatry that nobody cares. Thats like if anything happens or when I need some course-related help. Errr do I actually have someone there to help me out? My muka tebal has a limit. :(  Just wondering what did I do that I'm so excluded among them. I have a bunch of wonderful friends in hall but the moment I leave them and go for classes, really, I'm invisible.

Oh well *pat pat myself* I have Daniel and my awesome hall friends.
I WILL NOT DROP A SINGLE TEAR FOR THIS. Not repeating it anymore! LOL

Hopefully things will turn better, I really want to have good coursemates. :)

My Second Semester

I got this blogging urge out of no where out of sudden!! haha and yes I miss blogging. It's just that sometimes blogging requires time to plan a blog post nicely so ahh forget it. (So I normally end up starting watching another series)

Second semester with Daniel here does make A LOT A LOT OF DIFFERENCE!!! No more staying up the whole night and I get to sleep early. I finally feel being his girlfriend again. HEE Despite the small arguements due to different lifestyle in the beginning of the semester, everything else has been great. Thanks a lot for taking care of me! I hope you felt that I did take care of you too. haha

Somehow I felt that studies for this semester is not that stressful compared to last semester. I guess it is definitely due to the WONDERFUL timetable. No more 8-7 on Mondays, and I get 3 afternoons off! Well that is just how I FELT. Both my mid-semester tests results are horrible and I must buckup. Finals is HERE. ARGH. And I kept reminding myself of how disappointed was Papa and Mummy when they found out my end of semester results last semester. Seriously Lim Yuanshuang, your father pay RM100,000 a year for you to get results like this?! Ok so, I will STOP playing hard and start study as hard as I can, except for my first day of period. haha! That must be off day.

I still miss home as much as I do last semester. Firstly I miss having my family walking around the house everyday and whats the second? (like DUH.. it's me.) FOOD LA! I felt that nowadays I don't just miss food. I'm GREEDY. Oh gosh, the more I tell myself to stop thinking the worse it gets. Believe me or not, I've got a few Insomnia cause I spend the whole night thinking of Malaysia food and the possibility of me cooking it here myself. THIS IS SO WRONG. Needs to stop allowing food conquer my mind at wrong times!

Lost of GongGong allowed me to get a 'free trip' back home in September. How're you GongGong? Being such a great man, you'll stay in heaven forever and don't need to get into a new life being a human again, I know. Rest in peace, I really miss your presence. Will take care of mummy, that's my responsibility!

On the special day of 10/10/10, I spent my day doing something I've been looking towards long ago. Something to be kept in memory forever. :)

Finals is in less than a month time. and to anybody who might even pop in and read before I get back, I'll be reaching home again on 26th November. (I love surprises :D) hahaha it's gonna be a great summer holiday back AT HOME, THE PLACE I LOVE THE MOST. I want to hang out as much as I can with my family and friends, and hopefully I get to meet Daniel at least once a week. haha

I'm good! :D

Thanks for treating me nice nice food so often! hehe <3

STUDY.HARD.STUDY.HARD.STUDY.HARD!

Exposed

My blog is exposed!!!!

One of my coursemate told me that she read my blog. 0.0 NOT.GOOD.!!!
Luckily she is a Malaysian so maybe not that bad. But still! I have never thought of letting anybody around Uni know about my blog!!

Then how?! Should I lock up my blog? I don't feel like doing so because I don't mind anybody hoping in and out of my blog once in a while. But this is the only place left I rely on to pour my stories and I really don't mind any of my friends to read my blog. Macam mana la?!

I always thought assignment is good because it help lighten the burden of having 100% exam based but why can't I just concentrate on doing it? I'm still feeling distracted quite badly especially during the night time.

I have not walk out of it yet but I have been smiling, to everybody and myself. :)

Growing up is not fun.

Countdown to the ultimatum: 30days